Cooking Crusaders
by McNineSpike
Summary: A family that cooks together stays together, even a really dysfunctional batfamily. When double fudge disaster turns a mess for Damian into an idea for Dick, the batfamily cookbook is born. Meals shared over laughter might just bring the family closer…or at least make an excuse for food fights


**A/n: Please enjoy! **

**Oh ****yeah, and I don't own Batman or any of the characters, all rights to DC Comics! **

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_ Prologue_

_Double Fudge Disaster!_

The thundering sound of a motorbike roared into the Batcave, stirring up loose papers and rattling all sorts of test tubes set on various work tables. The sudden burst of warm air the bike's engine brought, even made the bats overhead chirp from their perches, red eyes blinking drowsily in the dark. However, the small noise was, of course, drowned out by the last few revs of the engine, before the rider put the roaring machine to sleep. Once, twice, and then dead silence as Dick dismounted, pulling off his helmet and tussling his helmet-hair back into place.

From atop one of the many catwalks in the Cave, Damian licked his lips in annoyance. The sounds of unzipping leather and soft whistling drifted up to Damian while his brother went to change in the back. Grayson must have thought he was alone because before long the sun loving oaf was belting out _Bringing Sexy Back_ in his off key voice. Damian rolled his eyes and did what any good brother would do, he hit the record button on his phone. He would need the blackmail later, after Grayson found out just what he was doing in the Cave in the first place.

It was about the most shameful activity an assassin of his grooming and caliber could participate in, cooking. Before him, his concoction overflowed in a rainbow of boiling liquid. Tests tubes swayed under the weight of the amorphous explosion waiting to happen. Damian stared at the ugly mess he'd created as if glaring at Drake, with utter distain. His little lab test was going much worse than he originally thought. Most of all, he had no idea how to hide the evidence of his domestic tampering. It was bad enough he had a _Better Homes and Gardens_ magazine jammed into his pocket, having long since memorized the recipe, but the apron, now that was going to be really difficult to explain.

Anxiously, Damian peered over the railing again, having heard his brothers off key musing cease. Grayson walked out from the back of the Cave in basic civilian clothes, carrying a few duffle bags, and still whistling, this time an off key version of _Eye of the Tiger. _Silently hoping the oaf wouldn't look up at him, Damian rushed, twisting off the Bunsen burners in one fluid movement. With the sudden absence of heat, his mixture exploded all over his apron, which kind of made him happy he decided to put it on in the first place. It also sort of covered up the fact it was a pink apron he'd found discarded in the laundry pile next to a red sock.

It was just that type of day for Damian. There couldn't even be peace in his paint-drying boredom, the only reason he'd read the magazine anyway. He had been looking for a schematic to build an indoor retro helicopter, from the 70s, a time period he'd been reading a lot about lately. He'd even found genuine parts from old batmobiles and equipment to use for his contraption. However, instead of finding a schematic, he found an old Better Homes and Gardens magazine that must have belonged to Martha Wayne.

Intrigued, he flipped it open to a dogeared page and found a recipe for double fudge brownies. Pennyworth would never make anything with the word 'double' in it, so it had to be from his cherished yet deceased grandmother. This sparked his curiosity, so he snuck into Alfred's kitchen, which had to be one of the hardest tests of his stealth skills, and gathered the desired ingredients.

After that, he brushed the mini parts for his retro helicopter to the side and spread out makeshift baking equipment. That's when Grayson arrived and the whole experiment went to Betty Crocker Hell. The double fudge browny exploded, leaving Damian a face full of chocolate, basically a redhanded confession to Grayson who was now staring up at him with bright azure eyes.

Titus the batdog was salivating just a few catwalks away, his downward pursuit to Grayson's side forgotten. Anytime there was food Titus would come running as if he was in a constant starving state, which certainly wasn't the case for Damian's dog. Like Grayson, Titus had begun to grow on him and he really couldn't be mad at the oversized big slobbering monster his father forced upon him.

Grayson jumped, dropping his duffle bags and swinging up to Damian's perch. The duffles made a sharp thud against the stone floor as Grayson's hands caught a mid-level catwalk bar. He flipped. From his up-side-down position Grayson used his abs to pull himself up all the way. Of course, that wasn't enough of a show, as all the bats could perform such a move. Grayson had his classic way of taking it that much further.

"Hey, Damian." He waved, then threw his body back until he was doing a handstand on the railing of the catwalk.

Damian rolled his eyes, instead of responding he waited, foot tapping, for Grayson to finally finish his show. Damian finally responded after Grayson preformed a final front flip and dismounted, pulling the worn magazine from Damian's pocket in the process,

"Grayson, what are you doing here?"

His brother twisted, cracking his back, and shuffled to the dogeared page.

"I was evicted, the apartment didn't pass inspection. Bruce said I could crash here for a little while, and I'm taking a few days off." Dick quirked a brow at the date and contents of the magazine previously in Damian's possession. "No way, Damian where did you find this?"

"Well, if you bothered to read, you'd know I found it in the Manor's extensive library archive."

As usual, Dick ignored Damian's insults, turning his snarky attitude into a conversation. "This is an awesome find, little D," Dick said, using the edge of the frayed magazine to bonk Damian on the nose. "I'll help you clean this up, then we can do the brownie thing right, for real this time." Dick pulled a red Betty Crocker box from Titus's mouth, flattening it with a slightly disgusted look. "I'll just find a trashcan down here somewhere," he wiped his slobbery hand on Damian's soiled apron. "Also a good find," he gestured to the pink monstrosity. "Remind me to pick one of those up at the store, but in blue." Dick said, chuckling quietly, "pink just isn't really my color, but you know, it brings out the color of your eyes. More power to you Damian."

Of course, Grayson had to make this whole issue as uncomfortable as possible, par the usual. If there could just be a way for him to redo the entire day. This time, when he found the old _Better Homes and Gardens_, he'd burn it. But he really wanted those double fudge brownies, anything including the word double would make him happy at this point. Especially if he put double into the context of Grayson and quiet, as in Grayson would be doubly quiet, perhaps with double the amount of duck tape over his mouth.

Damian smirked.

"Damian?" Dick cleared his throat, "double fudge?" He smoothed the edges of the magazine out and placed it on a table adjacent to the blast zone.

"Oh, yes. I suppose that brownies are worth working with an oaf like you."

Dick placed a hand over his heart, "Damian, you say the nicest things."

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**_A/n: First chapter, or really more of a prologue. The second will actually include them making the brownies, of course. As well as the addition of both Jason and Tim, maybe a Bruce cameo. Basically, this fic is a cookbook, bat style. Brownies are up first and I have ideas for notches, chili, sushi, and home made pop corn. If you have ideas or want to toss me your favorite food as inspiration, I'll be more than happy to except any suggestion. As for the cookbook itself, that will come to pass next chapter with an idea from one of the brothers. _**

**_Thanks for reading! Drop me a dime in the review box please! Seriously, any ideas for food or conversations are cool with ME! _**

**_~MC _**


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